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1 STAGES AND EPISODES

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I am German-born and came into this world on 30th August 1958 in Neunkirchen, Saarland, a medium-sized town characterised by the coal and steel industry. My parents’ house was in the middle of a village part of town, a little world of its own and an adventure playground for us children. Growing up in this microcosm has deeply shaped me. There was a strong sense of community at work.
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As a teenager I was into filming and star-gazing. During grammar school I attended dancing school, went to Finland twice with a youth group, shot a documentary about it and grew to develop an interest in music. In class I remember us following Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony from the score and dealing with Stockhausen’s world of sound.
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At Christmas 1977, heading for the Abitur (A levels), I got my first guitar and taught myself how to play it. Six months later, in the course of a film project among friends, I wrote my first three songs in German and incidentally discovered my talent for songwriting.
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From July 1979 to September 1980, during my compulsory military service, a dozen works in English came into life. I often had my guitar with me and even played anti-war songs like the German version of “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” in front of the assembled company. It was my first gig. On the side, I translated the lyrics of Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” into German. What is more, I met people from many walks of life in West Germany.
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In October 1980, after ‘the school of the nation’, I began my studies at Saarland University in Saarbrücken. My application for the University of Television and Film in Munich had been turned down. After two semesters of working hard for a diploma in Chemistry I changed over to a Teaching Degree for Secondary Schools in English and Chemistry. I did not study my favourite subject Geography because I was strongly advised against it.
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During my studies I had a music project with a friend who had a huge record collection. We regularly met to talk about music and worked as deejays in a disco, but our dream of making dance music never came to fruition. Nevertheless, I wrote songs and played them to friends and at parties once in a while.
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In June 1985, I visited East Germany with two mates. We met up with a penfriend there and spend five days in Weimar and Erfurt that I will never forget. We got an idea of what life was like behind the Iron Curtain and had many wonderful encounters.
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As the true highlight of my studies I spent two terms as a guest student at Bristol University in England from October 1985 to March 1986. It was one of the most memorable periods of my life and laid the foundation for my ties to Britain. Four songs on “Chapters” were written during that stay.
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Back in Germany I began the work on my first thesis by collecting material in the state library in Berlin next to the Wall. I will never forget staring down at the death strip while working on semi-auxiliaries. In November 1989, six days after the Berlin Wall had come down, I passed my last exam and finished my studies with a second-class degree.
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After the usual two-year teacher training programme I applied for a job in all German states and got one in August 1992 at a vocational state school in Kassel. I had the feeling that I had come full circle with my songwriting and put it aside to fully concentrate on teaching. I went to the new eastern states a lot to observe the changes connected with German reunification, visited friends in the USA and Australia and often went to Britain and France.
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In July 2006, I returned to Saarland and worked as a teacher at a vocational state school in Völklingen until retirement in February 2023. During the school holidays I explored countries in Europe. One important reason why I travel is to experience a country and its people with my own eyes to get rid of prejudices and preconceived ideas.

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2 HOW I SURVIVED

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I sometimes regard it as a miracle that I am still alive. I was lucky to avert three car accidents that could have ended up fatally and I magically survived a heart attack. My life was hanging by a thread several times but something always kept me here.
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What did help me survive was my creativity. I used it to turn my melancholy into something productive. Without my artistic talent and the help of my therapists, empathic friends and guardian angels, I am sure, I wouldn’t be here anymore, enjoying the wonderful sides of life and taking the more terrible ones as a painful but necessary experience.
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When my father almost died of an inflamed heart muscle in early 1981, I felt on the brink of suicide. I was in a deep personal crisis and couldn’t guarantee not to kill myself. Fortunately, I was sensible enough to start a four-year psychotherapy that helped me get back on track. During that time, in May 1984, my father didn’t survive a third heart attack. It is beyond my imagination what he had to go through in his life.
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After coming back to Saarland in July 2006, I took care of my mother. Her life mate had died and she had become a dialysis patient. As the relationship to her was anything but easy I felt as if I was standing in front of a wall. Yet, I felt a responsibility to look after her, which I did until her death on Christmas Day 2013. I don’t blame her for the wounds she inflicted on me. She was a victim of her circumstances as well.
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Be that as it may, I was in need of professional help again. Starting in early 2007, I managed to shed massive burdens and finally felt free after twelve years of therapy. Today I see this process as a part of the miracle that I am still alive. I straightened things out with myself and I became a more mature person. And as if going to plan, I was ready for my adventure in the music business, which vaulted me on a new level in my personal development.

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3 MY DEBUT ALBUM

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The path to “Chapters” was a long and winding one. It threatened to peter out in the thicket of my life but resurfaced again, not to be forgotten, so it seems.
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I recorded many of my German and some of my English songs during my studies and training time. I reviewed the recordings from 2000 to 2005 and 2015 to 2019 creating about a dozen compilations with them. An EP with four of my English songs taped in 1990 found its way to my producers at Abbey Road Studios in London. After listening to the songs in Studio Three they called me the following day. They wanted to make an album with me!
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I knew at once what that meant. It shook me to my very core. As I had not practised playing the guitar and singing regularly for ages it was a huge challenge. On the other hand, it was a chance you usually get once in your life. I had to take it and plunged in at the deep end into uncharted waters. This was in April 2019.
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At first, we wanted to make an EP with seven tracks. So I compiled my favourite own songs, bought a new guitar and recorded the demos in my study six weeks later. Production started in July and finished in October 2019. The result was so amazing that we decided to extend the EP to a regular album, as I had just drafted the next EP which was a perfect sequel to the first one. So I recorded the demos of the remaining songs in November. Production started in February and was completed late in 2020. The artwork took shape in 2021 with a photo shooting in a forest of my hometown. The mastering took place at Abbey Road Studios again and was finished on 4th December 2022.
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The result has become “Chapters”, an album far beyond anything I could imagine possible. It was divine timing that fate kept me waiting to meet the right people at the right time, that things fell into place and resulted in a work of art that comes close to a miracle to me now. Whenever I listen to the 16 tracks it blows my mind.

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4 MY LOVE LIFE

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I have always been into guys. This is so obvious in retrospect but it wasn’t clear to me while experiencing it until I came out at the age of 23. I had crushes on classmates in the first and fifth forms. During puberty I felt different from the others but it never occurred to me I could be gay. It was just out of the question. But I remember locker room scenes that should have made it clear to me. I even got it on with a girl and tried to be in love with my best girlfriend to live up to expectations.
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Anyway, having homoerotic phantasies I came to think for some time I was bisexual until I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. I never indulged in the sex-oriented lifestyle which seemed to define your identity. I was more of the kind for a cosy relationship but never had the luck to achieve one. Geography always stood in the way when it was most promising. Today I see this as the leitmotif of my love life and a crucial part of my fate. It has made me write my kind of songs.

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5 SONGWRITING

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Each song I write is like a diary entry. It is an account of something that seizes me. The words and melodies usually come out together, when half asleep or in a contemplative mood, and if there is some magic involved I must continue working on it. This creative process can last an hour or two, a couple of days, or more than a year until a new song is finished. It is always magical to play and sing it for the first time in one piece. Writing a new song is so profound that I can only write about five each year.
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My prime topics are love and life. They go hand in hand. I firmly believe that love is the sole reason why life is worth living for. That is why many of my songs are love songs. I also like to fathom my inner life and what matters in life.
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Total despair is not my cup of tea. Not anymore. I usually try to convey a positive attitude to life against all the meanness and madness in this world.

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6 A GOOD LIFE

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In the pandemic years I did not go on holiday. I went for walks in nature and travelled a lot inside myself. I tried to understand my life better, sorted important experiences in it and tried to figure out what makes life a good life. No doubt, it is love accompanied by sincerity, humility and gratitude. It is realising your potential and it is living in harmony with yourself and the world around you. It is cultivating friendships and relationships with fellow humans. It is enjoying and accepting what happens to you in life.

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7 A TWIST OF FATE

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I experienced a twist of fate at the age of 60. It has brought me back to music and a purpose of life which I had abandoned half a lifetime ago.

So I am back to songwriting and to bringing my songs into the world. This time it is for real. I just hope I will have the luck and the vitality to make it a reality.

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Saarbrücken, April 2024